


My Way

by Night_life20



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Puns, Character can be you, Dirty mind, Dogs, Dreams, F/M, Flashbacks, Memories, Nuclear War, Sassy, Singing, Swearing, Tons of magic, Visions, implied PTSD, lots of dogs, oof, romantic issues, song magic, soo much singing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 09:02:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15433575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_life20/pseuds/Night_life20
Summary: Diary entry ---It doesn't look too terribly steep, but there's no doubt I'll break a few bones, maybe I'll get lucky and it'll be over before I know it, it's better than getting disintegrated by a nuke. I'd rather both me and Raksha have a quick death, as much as I hate to say it, or even think it, but what else can I do? I'll just have to risk it, and who knows? Maybe that story is true, maybe there are creatures down there, and maybe they'll help me, they can't be all bad, right?________________________________________Undertale and it's characters belong to Toby Fox.





	1. A Golden Flower

**Author's Note:**

> I've never used this site before so I'm just gonna try this out and see how it goes. I hope you enjoy and wish me luck with figuring this out on my phone.

Diary entry #24                                      7/15/202x

It doesn't look too terribly steep, but there's no doubt I'll break a few bones, maybe I'll get lucky and it'll be over before I know it, it's better than getting disintegrated by a nuke. I'd rather both me and Raksha have a quick death, as much as I hate to say it, or even think it, but what else can I do? I'll just have to risk it, and who knows? Maybe that story is true, maybe there are creatures down there, and maybe they'll help me, they can't be all bad, right?

____________________________________

The thunderous sound of bombs rumbled in the distance from the mountain I had hiked up, even from here, the blast was almost as bright as the sun. They weren't lying when they said a nuclear bomb could reach for miles on end, I could feel the wind pick up and die down. I looked down at my husky, Raksha, she was staring in awe at the sight, her tongue sticking out of her mouth slightly, I almost grinned. Even in a time of despair and desperate measures, she could still manage to bring happiness and hope to me. I sighed and finally turned to face the cave towering above us.

'Perhaps.... Maybe we could stay here, I could learn how to make a fire and cook animals...'

I put one foot in front of another and made my way into the dark. As my eyes adjusted, it was too my surprise that a fair amount of light still seeped into the cave, and after a few more steps, I understood why. There was a small hole of on the caves' ceiling, beaming down a spotlight into an enormous hole into the mountain. My gaze transfixed itself onto the hole.

'So... this must be the entrance into the underground? It doesn't seem like there's another way down though...'

My mind began to wonder, it was becoming harder to think of a better option. Soon it became a choice between dying quickly or dying painfully, or rather, dying by the hand crafted abomination of an idiot. As much as I knew what my choice ultimately was gonna be, a part of me didn't want to die, I didn't want to bring Raksha with me, she's too young to die, and she's done nothing wrong, she's such a good dog- no, she's such a good companion, my bestest friend, my last "family" I have left. A burst of wind rushed through the cave, almost knocking me in, I whirled around and saw that this explosion was much closer than the previous ones, almost dangerously close. The clock was ticking now, I looked back and forth between the hole and the explosion, I finally stopped on the hole and took a deep breath, closing my eyes and crossing my fingers.

'It's now or never, I just hope and pray to god that we'll somehow survive this...'

I picked Raksha up the best of my ability and turned my back to the hole, facing the entrance of the cave and taking in what's left of my home. I smiled, tears building at the corners of my eyes and took a step backwards, then another, and another, until...

The image of my home had disappeared.

I fell. I could feel the wind rushing by me as gravity pulled me quicker to the ground, I must've gotten swept up in my thoughts or something, because it felt as if I was slowing down, as if time itself was coming to a halt, I looked up and was met with a bright light gleaming behind a black box.

NAME THE FALLEN HUMAN.

______________

I was in a daze at the sight of a sudden box asking for a name, was this a test? Or is it asking for my name?

"Anstella..." Even my words seem to drift out of my mouth like smoke.

NAME THE FALLEN DOG.

______________

"Raksha..."

As soon as I said her name, everything faded to white, is this what it's like to die? That is, until I woke up in a bed of seemingly golden flowers, all was hushed as I looked and saw that I was, in fact, not dead, and somehow managed to survive the fall without so much as a single scratch. I felt the leash tug and I looked up to an unharmed Raksha as she stood over me and proceeded to pant in my face, thanks Raksha. I finally hoisted myself up onto my feet and looked around, besides the spotlight, I was surrounded by a rock wall with a purple tint to it, weird.

"Well Raksha, I can certainly say that we won't take this one lying down, eh?" I chuckled at my own ridiculous pun, but Raksha ignored me, continuing to sniff the area.

Sighing, I decided to continue down the hallway ahead of me, which was ominously dark, I took another deep breath and forced myself forward, Raksha being right at my side as I moved along.

The first thing I'm met with is a single golden flower, sitting alone in a smaller spotlight in a pitch black room, I wonder how it got there? As I approached it, to my horror, it had a face, and it sat there and smiled at me. After about a minute of staring, I finally inched my way up to it to get a better look, that is... until it started talking.

"Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower!" It started.

All I could do was sit there and watch while internally screaming because a flower was talking to me, this was an awkward situation for both of us, except Raksha, she kept trying to sniff it, or him? It sounded kind of like a guy, which is... odd. His smile seem to falter and he hesitated before saying something else, as if he wasn't expecting this.

"You're new to the underground, aren'tcha? Golly! You must be so confused!"

"You're telling me, first I survive like a 10 story fall and now I'm talking to a flower, of course I'm confused!" I responded.

"Hey, she finally talks back." He retorted, I was a bit taken back by the comment, but let him continue his speech.

"Anyways, looks like someone's gonna have to show you how everything works down here, guess little old me will have to do."

A white line crawled across the floor and into a shape of a box and began to glow, blobs of green spurt put from my chest and formed a heart in front of me, I looked down to find that Raksha had a red heart in front of her. I tried to cross the line, but I couldn't, I physically couldn't because of some invisible barrier keeping me in place. Needless to say, I wasn't liking this idea.

"Hey uh, I don't seem to be able to get out of this square?" I said, looking over at him, he sighed with a look of disappointment.

"Of course not! It's supposed to be that way. Now can you just focus so I can teach you a few things? Or would you rather die trying to find out yourself?" He snapped at me.

"Okay, i'm not about to get bossed around by a plant. But since I do want to know what's happening here, I'll listen. Now, what am I doing?" I asked, crossing my arms and leaning on one leg in a sassy pose.

"Right.... Well, you see that heart in front of your chest? That would be your SOUL, the very culmination of your being! Your SOUL starts off weak, but gets stronger if you gain LV!" He explains, putting emphasis on the word 'soul'.

"Okay... what's LV?" I asked.

"Why, it stands for LOVE of course! You want some LOVE don't ya?" He asks, smiling bigger at me, it was almost creepy.

"Ew don't touch me!" My first response being one of a dirty thought.

"Wh- ew no! You idiot! I didn't mean it like that! Ugh- look! LOVE down here is shared through little white... "friendliness pellets" he was growing impatient.

"I hope you know little white friendliness pellets doesn't help with the LOVE thing." I respond nonchalantly.

"You know what? I'm done playing games. DIE!"

Suddenly the box shrinks, but only I'm in it, Raksha was in a separate box. It was so small that I could barely move, and soon enough, these "friendliness pellets" appear and form a circle around me, closing in on me while Flowey laughs maniacally at my misfortune.

'Shit shit shit! Think of a way out! But what can I do? God they're getting closer!'

Before the pellets reach the box, a ball of fire struck Flowey, and just as quickly, he disappeared, as did the pellets and the box that held me and Raksha hostage. I grabbed her leash immediately and started looking around for the source of the sudden flame attack, and into the spotlight stepped a...

Giant goat woman?!


	2. Caretaker of the Ruins (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I figured it out guys.

I can't believe it. Towering over me is an anthropomorphic goat women, who seemed to be wearing an expression of concern. I went to open my mouth, but words couldn't even begin to describe what I was seeing. At the same time though, I can't say I'm too surprised by her, and then of course, Raksha immediately wants to be her friend as she jumps and pulls on the leash trying to reach her, whining all the while with her tail wagging.

The women giggles at Raksha before she speaks, "What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth." Her voice is rather soothing, one of a royal queen trying to calm her children from a storm.

'Youth?? I'm 23 years old! Yeah I'm small but my body features should say otherwise."

"Uh, yeah... do you happen to know where that fireball came from?" I asked rather shyly, still unsure if I should actually trust her.

"It came from me, my child. But not to worry, I did not kill that monster, I merely injured it." She confirmed.

"So, you gave him a love tap? Nice, for a minute there I thought I was gonna be dead meat, aha." I joked, but the joke didn't really strike her as funny, guess she isn't one for DARK humor... focus Anstella.

"What a horrible thing to think about my child! But do not be afraid, I am here now. Allow me to introduce myself to you, I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. And you might be?" She gestures to me with her.... paw... and smiles patiently.

It takes me a minute to contemplate everything she just said, then it starts to register, "Oh! I'm so sorry, I tend to zone out quite often, I'm Anstella. You can imagine that I'm very confused, amazed, and still pretty shaken up at the moment." I end with a small chuckle.

"It is nice to meet you, Anstella. I promise that I will protect you for as long as you're down here, you are safe with me." She smiles again, closing her eyes.

"Thank... thank you! Oh, and this is my dog, Raksha, and she absolutely loves everyone, no matter who you are. Careful though, she likes to jump on people.... Would you like to pet her?" I ask sheepishly, not sure if she would want to pet another animal, considering she is one.

"Of course! She seems like a sweetheart!" She reached down with an open paw to let Raksha sniff her, though, she didn't sniff much, just a whiff, and then she was all over Toriel. She licked her face while she giggled and continued to pet her, I'm so glad I picked Raksha.

"Hahaha! She is quite the lover, is she not?" She giggled as I pulled Raksha back to my side, I chuckled a little louder this time.

"Yeah, she's just a fluff ball of energy, aren'tcha Raksha? Yeah." I continued with my baby talk as I squished her face, gave her kisses and hugged her, completely forgetting Toriel was standing there watching. Once I realized she was still there, I pulled myself together and stood up, probably beat red from embarrassment, Toriel only giggled some more in response.

"Well, you know what they say, a dog is a women's best friend." She comments.

"Well, usually it's "man's best friend," but yeah, that definitely works, especially in this situation." I reply, my nervous chuckle getting the best of me.

"That it is, my child. Any who, allow me the guide you through the Ruins. You see, the Ruins is full of puzzles, one must solve them to navigate their way through. Observe." I watch her step on button in the floor in a specific order, pull a switch, and trigger the opening of the door keeping us in this room.

"Huh, that's pretty neat Toriel." I followed her into the next room.

"Indeed, worry not though, I will help you with solving these puzzles, I have put sticky notes telling what it is you must do. I will leave this next puzzle to you." She replies and stands off to the side, allowing me to figure things out on my own now.

It doesn't take long before I find sticky notes with arrows drawn on them pointing at a lever that looked much like the one in the previous room. I walked over and pulled the lever, looking back for confirmation that what I did was correct, Toriel nodded. I smiled as she continued on across the tiny wooden bride and stood off to the side once more, I followed her and repeated the process, pulling the lever and watching the spikes that blocked the path sink down.

"Well done, my child." She praises with another big smile, she continues down the hall with me following close behind her.

In the next room, she teaches me to talk instead of fight, I try to talk to the dummy, but it doesn't seem much for conversation. I won!

"Ah, very good! You are very good." She praises once more, though, as much as I appreciated that, it was kind of an awkward praise, but I brushed it off and continued with her.

After another puzzle and my first fight with a monster called a 'Froggit,' we walked up to a very long hallway. She informed me that she hated to do this, but I had to walk to the end of the hallway by myself. After an apologetic "forgive me," she was off and seemed to disappear into thin air, I gave up with trying to find the logic behind everything that happens here and began my mini journey through the purple hallway.

The hallway seemed to drag on forever, but I finally got to the end, and once I did, Toriel popped up from behind the pillar (scaring the living daylights out of me) and told me that that was an exercise to test my independence, I guess I passed. She explained that she had some errands to run and that I had to stay here. As she was about to give me an ancient looking cellphone, I stopped her and pulled out my iPhone 6s+ (that surprisingly had service) and showed her how to put her number into my contacts. Once she was done, she waved to me and said she would come back in a while. I watched her leave, and when I was for sure she was really gone, I thought out loud to myself.

"You really expect someone to just sit in a long hallway for a bit while you run some errands? Geez lady, how responsible of you." I mocked sarcastically, she was a very nice women, but this is kind of ridiculous.

I sat and went through my phone for about twenty minutes until I sighed and gave in. I stood up and dusted off the dirt, Raksha and I then entered the next room, only to be hit with some migraine, but something was different. The room seemed to glitch out for a moment, and the image I saw was another person with a knife, they had slashed a monster across its chest. The next thing I noticed was the massive piles of dust everywhere, then I remembered. Back in history, we learned about the war between humans and monsters, and whenever a monster dies, they turn to dust. The image I saw was murder, but the glitching was over almost as soon as it began. I stumbled back a little, holding my head as a wave of pain surged through my head.

"What... what was that?" I asked no one in particular.

Raksha took it upon herself to drag me around while I was zoned out, when I came back to reality, she was sniffing a golden... something... what is that? It was like a large gold shimmer that seemed to sparkle in place, defying gravity and floating just a few inches about the ground. When I touched it, a black box showed up, once I read what the box had to say, it dawned on me that the little gold shimmer was a save point.

"You're joking... a save point... in real life? I must be dead, how am I not dead?" I had soo many questions running through my mind, but I finally brought my hand up and pressed the 'save' button, and the box shrunk out of existence.

'What is this, a video game? It sure feels like one...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot about the very first save point oops.


	3. Caretaker of the Ruins (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wasn't a fan of dodgeball

Diary entry #25                                        7/15/202x

So far so good I guess, I almost died by a flower named Flowey, but was miraculously saved by a tall goat women named Toriel. Crazy right? I can assure you this happened, and if no one believes me, well... that's their problem. I also found that there are save points scattered throughout the ruins, almost as if this place is a game, could it be? There's no save point in real life, am I wrong? My head is spinning, it's hard to stay focused on one thing, though, I guess I was never very good at focusing. Raksha also survived the fall with me, she's such a good dog. I hope there's dog food down here when I run out, or at least something I can feed her, I highly doubt it though, I mean, I'm inside a mountain! Who's gonna have dog food in a mountain?! I'll just have to find out what the underground has to offer.

____________________________________

I continued through the rooms, gradually solving puzzles as I did so, as well as entering fights with other little monsters. However, this is how I found out just how bad I am at dodging attacks. When I died once, who knew that was just the beginning of soooo many more deaths? Of course the first death was the scariest, I had run out of monster candy and was at 10 hp, then I got hit by more and more attacks until I was down to 2 hp, I knew one more hit and it was over, but I couldn't flee the fight. Tears sprung in my eyes as I would be getting both me and Raksha killed, all because I couldn't dodge the stupid attacks well enough. I begged and pleaded to the attackers, screaming for mercy, but they ignored my calls and kept going, once I was hit by that last attack, the whole room faded out, leaving only my "soul" visible to me. It shook, it stopped, and it broke. All the green pieces falling to a non-existent ground and leaving me light headed, I passed out.

Once I woke up, however, I was back at my last save point, with Raksha (once again) panting in my face. I got up and looked around in a daze, I had come back, I'd really died and came back, just like you would in a game. I'm starting to feel this world really is a game, it would only make sense, right? The box asking for me and Raksha's names, the monsters, the attack mechanisms, the save points, reloads, inventories, all of it... just a game. If I messed up, I could just kill myself and come back to my last save point and do it over again. With a power like that... oh god, I could completely get out of hand- no... no, I will use this power responsibly, I'm an adult for gods sake! I can't just start doing shit and then going back to redo it, that's not how real life works, in this world, there's no redo's, except for on quizzes or tests, but this isn't the case.

To my surprise, it wasn't all down hill from there. The more I entered fights, the better I got at dodging, a part of me felt Raksha was getting the idea to, which is a good thing. I just had to keep reminding myself that the monsters are just scared, I mean, humans are the ones that trapped them all down here after all, and humans in general are pretty sick and messed up, so I understand their fear. But maybe... just maybe... I will soon be an exception, I mean, Toriel has already taken me under her wing, who says I can't get the rest of them to do the same? Despite their attacks, they seem pretty nice, I think my favorite little monster so far is the froggits, they're pretty cool. I also came up on a spider bake sale, which I wasn't too keen about until I remembered that everything down here seems to understand me, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I of course chose the more appealing option, a spider donut, and laid 18 G in the web, then some spiders came down on a web and gave me a somewhat normal looking donut, to which I was very glad about. I shoved the donut in my inventory and continued on my way. After a few twists, turns, and puzzles, I walked in on a room with a wilting tree and a building that looked much like a home. Before I could take another step, however, I saw Toriel exit the building and pull out her phone, I'm assuming to call me. I began to inwardly panic, trying to think of where to hide, but it was too late as she spotted me before I could make a run for it, so I just stood there and watched her.

"Oh dear, how did you get here, my child? Are you hurt?" She asked worriedly as she jogged over to me.

'Should I tell her I died? No... she would never believe that... I'll just lie, no biggie.'

"Oh, yeah, I'm good, just a little rusty on dodging, heh." I shrugged, she cocked her head to the side, but continued.

"There there... I will heal you." She said, placing a paw on my shoulder.

I felt a spark of energy flow through me, her magic wrapping itself around me and Raksha's form, going through my veins, I watched as my wounds and bruises gradually faded away. I felt the magic get sucked out of me once she lifted her paw, all I could do was gleam up at her in amazement.

"How... how did you..." I tried to form words, but my mouth was left a gape.

"Magic, little one. Come now, I have a surprise for you inside! I do hope you like it." She beckons me inside, I wonder what the surprise is?

When I walk in there, the first thing that hits my nostrils is a sweet smell, a strong one too if I can smell it. I took in a deep breath, but I'm unable to put my finger on what the scent is, though I think I can smell a hint of cinnamon? She has me sit down at the table and insists I close my eyes, and when I finally did, I heard a soft clunk in front of me.

"Now... open them." She says, excitement filling her words.

I do as told, and in front of me is a very delicious looking pie, I could've sworn I was drooling at that point.

"Surprise! It is cinnamon-butterscotch pie!" She exclaims, throwing her paws up a little with delight.

"Wow... Thank you Toriel! This looks amazing!" I say, smiling up at her with a sparkle in my eyes.

"Of course my child! Now, eat up, before it gets cold!" She giggled and left to sit down and read while I enjoyed her work.

I took a bite, It felt like I had bitten into heaven, it was the best thing I've eaten in months, and being a slow eater had its perks. I could saver ever last bite because this time, there's no rush, there's nothing to worry about, no one's gonna burst through the door and try to take me away, it was all pure bliss. Even Raksha had layed down next to my chair and closed her eyes for once. I sighed and finished up the last of my pie, moving it to the side after and resting my arms and chin on the table. For the first time in forever, I felt relaxed. The smell of the pie, the feeling of the cloth against my skin, Raksha sleeping peacefully, Toriel happily reading a book next to a warm fire, and the faint music playing in the background- wait, music? Where's it.... oh whatever, it's probably magic. I let out a big yawn, Toriel must've heard me.

"Are you tired, dear?" She spoke softly, interrupting my thoughts.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, maybe a little." I replied sleepily, nodding my head before closing my eyes again.

"Hehe, well then, allow me to show you your room." She said, standing up and waving a paw towards her direction.

I got up and followed her, Raksha close behind, and she led us to a fairly long hallway with a few doors, she stopped at the first door, which I presumed was gonna be my room.

"This will be your new room, I hope it is to your liking, as I'm afraid not too much can be modified with it." She shuffled to the side and let me in.

"Wow, this is awesome! I haven't had a room in mon- I mean... yay, room! Heh... heh..." nice one, Anstella.

"You have not had a room in months? Goodness child, what happened up there?" She asked with concern, pulling her paw up to her mouth.

"Oh, uh... um... well uh... I... don't know how to put this... but uh... hmmm..." I shifted nervously, that war is the last thing I want to think about anymore.

"Well, I suppose I should not push you to reveal such personal info, you did just meet me, after all." She mentioned quickly after I couldn't come up with an actual response.

"Thank you, it's just something I'd like to forget." I said plainly, although, I was avoiding eye contact.

"Well, I will leave you to get some rest. Sleep well, my child." She said gently, giving my head a gentle couple of pats before walking out and closing the door behind her.

I looked around the room and analyzed everything, trying to figure out why it looked like a children's room, but my eyelids began to grow heavy on me again, and I decided that sleep was in my favor. So I got under the covers and Raksha jumped up and layed down by my feet, curling herself into a big fluffball and closed her eyes. I closed my eyes soon after. However, tonight wasn't gonna be my lucky night in dream land.


	4. Caretaker of the Ruins (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing she needs is to fight someone she cares about.

I opened my eyes, and around me I was surrounded by military forces and innocent people running for their lives, scooping up their children and weaving to dodge bullets, but to no avail. I sat there and watched people drop by the hundreds almost, I could hear the gun shots, the screams and cries, and people who begged and pleaded with the soldiers that they don't have to do this, or yelled profanity and called them names. Some even fought back, but there was no point, they eventually just died, and I watched it happen. I couldn't move, not because I was stuck in place, but shock had me paralyzed, I could only move my head to look around. My mind was spiraling, so much that I almost forgot that I was dreaming and no one could actually see me. I watched the soldiers shoot mercilessly and drag women and even children into houses to do god knows what, and it made me angry, I wanted them gone, I wanted them to die, I think they deserve it for the evil things they were doing.

I was about to do my all to wake up, then I heard almost a whistling noise, and when I looked up, there it was. A nuclear bomb being dropped from sky to kill everyone in range, and I was going to get a front row view of all the damage it had done. I was moved back in my dream so I could see more than just a white light, but I was still close enough to see it hit the ground, and when it did...

Time slowed down to a halt as I saw the beginning of people's disintegration, and the horror on their face as it happened. I saw their skin beginning to burn to a crisp, flakes of dead flesh flying behind them. I saw the look on the soldiers faces when they realized they were being betrayed, I guess they didn't know they were gonna be casualties as well. I walked up closer to the core of the bomb until a couple caught my eyes, and after a moment, I bolted to them. I skidded to a stop and pivoted to face them, it was mom and dad. Dad had the same look of horror as he held moms' head close to his chest in an attempt to comfort her one last time, mom wasn't even looking at the bomb, but she sure as hell had a death grip on him. Tears immediately swelled in my eyes as I reached for them, that's when time began to start every so slowly as I watched them start to lose pieces of their skin as well.

"MOM, DAD, IM HERE!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? PLEASE COME ON! I CANT LOSE YOU GUYS I JUST CANT PLEASE DONT LEA-"

"-EAVE!!" I sprung up into a siting position on my bed, sweat dripping down my forehead and legs, tears running down my cheeks, and Raksha staring at me with curiosity.

I breathed heavily, but the tears kept coming, I pulled my legs slowly to my chest and raised my hand up to my head, gripping my hair and rocking back and forth.

"It's just a dream. It's just a dream. It's just a dream. It's just a dream. Don't worry, it's over now. It's just a dream." I repeated over and over to myself, until Raksha finally got up and padded over to me, licking my face in an attempt to calm me down, and it did.

I steadied my breathing tried to get myself under control, I hugged Raksha tight and kissed her face, still sniffling every few minutes. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep tonight, but that's okay, it wouldn't be the first time.

A few hours went by and I heard footsteps towards the door, so I quickly closed my eyes to pretend I was sleeping, and soon enough, the door opens. I made a groaning noise and pulled the blankets over my face shielding my eyes from the light seeping in through the door way. 

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to wake you, my child, I just wanted to let you know that there is still pie left, if you wanted to heat some back up for breakfast." She said softly.

"Mmmm thank you mom..." I mumbled, too drowsy from lack of sleep that I didn't realize my mistake until after it was made.

"I-I mean-!" I went to sit up and caught her smiling at me, a sort of, excited smile?

"That is quite alright, you may call me mom if you so wish." She interrupted happily.

"I'm sorry it's just, you kind of remind me of my mom for some reason, though, she didn't wake me up this nicely, but I know she just liked messing around with me, it was all in good nature." I replied, Toriel got that concerned look on her face again.

"Why are you down here? Your family must be terribly worried!" She said, taking steps over to my bed.

"Actually... I... I don't wanna talk about it." I told her, looking away, hoping she'll get off the subject.

"Hmm... well, you know you can always talk to me, I'm here to listen to you, my child." She said before walking out of the room, and before she closed the door, she looked back with a friendly smile, "come out whenever you're ready." And she shut the door.

About an hour went by and I finally got up, eating a piece of pie and letting Toriel read me some books and telling me about the underground. What struck me as interesting and actually making more sense, is that there's more beyond the ruins, more monsters and more places to go. I asked her if I would be able to go out and meet them sometime, but she gave me this blank stare. I said her name and she seemed to snap out of her trance, shaking her head and looking off to the side for a second before turning back towards me.

"Stay here for a moment, I have to go do something." Was all she told me before getting up and leaving the room, but her words went in one ear and out the other, and I ended up following quietly behind her.

I followed her down the stairs, little did I know is that she knew I was following, she stopped. She explained how children would fall down here, then leave, then die at the hands of some guy named Asgore. Once we got up to a door, she stopped in front of it, then spoke again.

"This is the exit to the Ruins, I am going to destroy it. No one will be able to leave here ever again." She said in a low voice.

"What?! Come on! Not all monsters are bad! You're not bad! Mo- T-Toriel please!" I begged, but she didn't listen.

"You want to leave so badly? Fine. Then prove it. Prove to me you are strong enough to survive out there!" She yelled, and before I knew it, she had entered a fight with me, Raksha was stuck in a separate box behind me.

When she stood there, the world seemed to glitch out into a more gloomy scene, a scene flashed where Toriel was kneeling with a look of shock on her face, and her gown was torn and beginning to soak with blood while another human stood there and watched, a twisted grin was on their face. The glitches faded out with the picture before Toriel made the first move. The first attack rained down on me, it was nothing like the other attacks from the smaller monsters, but what did I expect from a big monster? I tried to weave as best I could, but I was burned multiple times in the process. It was my turn, so I went to my items and ate a monster candy, most of my health was restored. She attacked again, somehow I was lucky enough not to get hit a single time, it was my turn now, and I chose to spare her. The attacks and sparing continued a little while longer until, to my relief, her attacks began to avoid me. I would go near the rain of fire and it would move out of my way, Toriel had nothing to say though, and seem to be interested in the floor. I clicked spare one more time and she huffed, the dark room regaining its color and the white box disappearing, letting me and Raksha free. All went silent as Toriel tried to find her words.

"I know..." she finally spoke quietly, "I know you want to leave... The Ruins does become quite small once you get used to it..." she continued, her breath hitching slightly, a sad smile creeping onto her face.

"Pathetic, is it not?" She looked up, "I cannot save even a single child." She looked off to the side, lifting a paw up to her face, tears forming in her eyes.

"Toriel I..." I wasn't sure what to say, what could I say? I walked up her and gave her a hug, a faint chuckle escaping her as she kneeled down to return the embrace.

"Just... promise me one thing, promise me you will stay safe out there, and that when you leave, please do not come back... I hope you understand..." she gave me one last squeeze before letting go and standing up.

"Be good, my child, I will miss you dearly." She said, hesitantly walking away, taking one last look over her shoulder before hurrying down the hall.

I sighed and stared down the empty hallway for a moment, wishing I would have just stayed, but I couldn't. I turned back to the big door and pulled it open, another long hallway greeted me, and I decisively shut the door behind me and began to walk. I got to the end of the hallway and stepped into another black room with a spot light... and that stupid yellow flower.

"So, you didn't-"

"Shut up." I said sternly, interrupting him and almost stomping past the plant so I could move on, I held on to Raksha's leash tightly, making sure she was right by my side.

I opened the door to discover a blast of cold wind and...

Snow.

'I HATE SNOW!!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sudden change in temperature is not her forté. (Is... is that how you spell it??)


	5. Different Scenery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeesh, way to surprise someone.

The shivering began immediately as I stepped out into the bitter whiteness of a winter forest, Raksha, of course, was loving the cold temperature as she pranced around and shoved her nose into the snow. I, on the other hand, already felt like I was turning into a human popsicle, so I removed my backpack from my shoulders and whipped out a thin sweater I got from Mackinac Island. It wasn't much, but it would have to do, I swung the backpack over my shoulders and called Raksha over and grabbed her by the leash. Though, I wasn't what you would call "dressed appropriately" for the weather, I had a pair of shorts on and my sneakers didn't exactly do a good job at keeping out the cold, so the shivering continued. But I pushed myself foreword and began to walk down the path of not-so-deep snow, frequently cursing the terrible weather under my breath.

CRACK.

Me and Raksha both jumped at the sudden sound and I was frozen in shock, mistaking the sound of a breaking stick for the sound of a gunshot for a moment. Raksha ran around me and stopped, looking for the source of the noise, while I kept standing in place, memories flashing, that nightmare last night playing itself over in my head. I wasn't able to think much longer when Raksha started whining and tugging on her leash, I snapped out of my thoughts and shook my head, taking a deep, shaky breath, and looking over my shoulder. The stick we'd passed was now split in two, with a few wooden shards laying around it, I gulped and continued foreword, trying not to think about the giant monster who could've broke that huge stick.

~???~

'This isn't supposed to happen, she isn't the human who always falls down here. I guess it's a nice change, to say the same lines over again, but to someone new, but how do I know she's not dangerous? She looks pretty pissed off, but I guess anyone would be if they weren't wearing the best clothes for cold weather. Is... is that a dog? How did the dog survive that fall?'

I split the stick in half behind her to see her reaction, she just froze while her dog ran around to see who made the noise, I chuckled silently at the pup and looked back up at her, she was still frozen.

'What is she doing?'

She continued to stand there for what seemed like forever until she finally turned her head to look over her shoulder, searching for something, or someone, which was me, but she doesn't know that yet. She slowly looked foreword again and continued, but that look of pure terror was still plastered on her face. I decided it was time to introduce myself.

~...~

I kept walking until a fence looking thing came into view, and out of curiosity, I walked towards it.

"This is a pretty nice decoration for a bridge I guess, it could use a little more detail." I said aloud to myself once I got up to it.

I examined it a bit longer, my imagination wondering off on ways to make the decoration look better, and before I could make a step foreword, I heard crunching footsteps behind me, I stood still and held my breath.

"H u m a n." The voice was low. Male.

"Th-that would be me..." I said, almost whispering.

He hesitated for a moment, "D o n ' t y o u k n o w h o w t o g r e e t a n e w p a l?" He said slowly.

"It's... b-been awhile..." I need to shut up.

I heard a light breathy chuckle from behind me, "T u r n a r o u n d a n d s h a k e m y h a n d." He said, I sat and waited for a few seconds, half expecting him to say 'what are you waiting for? A cookie?' But really slow and menacingly.

"O... kay..." I replied, taking a deep breath and pivoting my feet, though, it was hard to turn slowly while Raksha was throwing a fit trying to meet and greet whoever was behind me, especially because they were male. I swear, that dog loves guys more than me.

I faced the some how shadowy figure as he stuck out his hand, Raksha kept jumping up, so I told her to sit (while pushing her butt down) and stay. Then I turned back and finally grabbed onto his ice cold hand, only, I felt something squishy in it as well, but before I could figure it out... there was a fart noise. A long, fart noise. I looked up at him with a confused smirk, but that smirk wiped right off my face when I saw that he was a skeleton. We stared at each other for a minute, he started to become uncomfortable and decided to speak up.

"You uh, you okay there kiddo?" He asked.

I can't believe it. Right there, in front of me, a walking, talking, skeleton. I think I've seen everything now.

"How?" I asked.

"What?" He asked back.

"How and why are you moving? Are you sweating? You have white dots for pupils? Why do you look like you have muscles and a stomach? Why are you wearing shorts and slippers? It's cold! What-" he cut me off.

"Woah woah woah, one question at a time there, kid." He held his hand up to slow me down.

I shook my head and took a couple steps back, this isn't happening, this isn't- oh my god, I need to sit or something.

"I'm... I'm sorry I just... I don't know what to think of you... skeletons aren't supposed to be walking and talking." I said, trying to avoid looking at him.

"I'm... sorry?" He replied with uncertainty, but shook his head, "Anyways. I'm Sans, Sans the skeleton, I'm a sentry here in the Snowden forest. I'm supposed to be on the watch for humans right now, but I'm not really up for capturing anybody-" it was my turn to cut him off.

"Woah okay! Hold up a second! Capturing humans?! And what exactly were you gonna do with me if you wanted to capture me?! Torture me? Do weird kinky shit to me and then kill me?!" I blurted out, backing away and hugging myself.

"Wh- no! What the hell? Why would I ever do that to someone?!" He asked, giving me a look of disgust with a hint of concern.

'You dumbass, he's a monster, monsters are nice, why would he ever think of doing that to someone?' I thought, I quickly composed myself and cleared my throat, realizing that I would have to give an explanation for insulting him.

"Sorry... I uh, forgot that you weren't a human..." I looked down and shuffled a bit.

~sans~

'She's different... way different from the kid...'

"Sorry... I uh, forgot that you weren't a human..." she said, trailing off on her words and looking down.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked suspiciously.

"It means you're not bad..." she said, twiddling her thumbs, refusing to make eye contact with me.

'A human... an older human might I add, thinks that monsters aren't bad? This is quite the news.'

"Wow, uh, that's the nicest thing I've heard from a human in a long while... what made you think this?" I pressed forward, trying to get more information out of her, but I think I went a little far asking such a question after I just scared the hell out of her, oops.

~Anstella~

"I'd rather not talk about it..." I replied, looking at Raksha.

"I understand, well, let's keep moving, you've got a lot of puzzles in your future, heheh. Oh, and I didn't ask for your name, my bad." He apologized, I finally got the courage to look up at him again.

"My name's Anstella, and this is my husky, Raksha, she loves everyone, and lucky you, she just so happens to love guys more." I chuckled lightly, "Would you like to pet her?" I asked, my face flushing a bit with embarrassment.

"That's a nice name ya got there, kiddo. Also yeah, I'll pet her, she seems very fluffy, must be hard to get chilled to the bone with all that fur, huh?" He said, giving me a smirk, until it hit me that he just made a pun, it reminded me of someone.

I watched him get clobbered by Raksha as she finally got to meet him, I tried to keep her off the best I could. Chuckling, he gave her one last pet and took a step back.

"Did you... make a pun?" I tried to smile.

"Yeah, why?" He asked, his seemingly permanent smile growing slightly.

"It just... reminded me of my uncle, he made so many puns, I think I could say he was the human version of you, full of laughs. He was... great, I loved him..." I looked down again, memories dancing in my head.

"Well, if he was a lot like me, then he sounds like a pretty good man. You make it sound like something happened to him though... did something happen?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

I stopped and looked up at him, my small smile being wiped off my face immediately, how do I tell him?

"He died." Was all I could think to say.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He replied, looking to the side, this situation got pretty awkward pretty quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooof


	6. Puzzled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't teleport someone who's extremely cold and has never teleported before.

We both stood in awkward silence, trying to figure out what to say next, or maybe change the subject. Sans spoke up and asked if I liked puzzles, I looked up at him and gave a light hearted half smile, tilting my head to the side.

"What kind of puzzles?" I asked, sniffling because my nose was beginning to get runny from the cold weather, which I had completely forgot about.

"Oh, ya know, the usual puzzles, like japes and stuff, nothin' too terribly difficult." He shrugged, looking at me and winking- wait, yeah, he's winking at me, okay.

"Huh, well, I guess we move on then..." I said, he agreed and I awkwardly followed him past the "gate thingy," as he called it.

We got into another small clearing with a little stand and a lamp. He was about to tell me to go hide behind the lamp, but me and him both knew that despite my shortness, I was a little too tall for that lamp, and Raksha would definitely be an issue, so he instructed me to hide behind the sentry stand instead. I did as told, dragging Raksha with me, and soon enough, another skeleton entered into view, a tall one, he'd make one hell of a basket ball player, that's for sure. Once he spoke I almost covered my ears, never have I ever heard someone yell everything they said. As the conversation continued, I picked up that they were brothers, and now knew why sans kept bringing up puzzles. But I could also barely contain a laugh when sans cracked a few puns, it felt nice to actually want to laugh again, unfortunately I had to stay quiet. When his brother left, he told me I could come out now, once I moved, however, I felt the rush of cold replace the warmth from my body heat, I began to shiver once more.

"J-jeez, sans... how does anyone st-stand this?" I asked, my teeth beginning to chatter profusely.

"Well, for one, people here are more properly dressed than you are." He retorted, gesturing to me with his hand, I shrugged and nodded in agreement.

"True- fuck... damn, I'm gonna catch a cold at this rate, and then I'm gonna have to sit and suffer for like a month because when I get colds, they linger, and I ran out of medicine." I said, it was starting to become hard to move as the wind picked up.

"I guess if it gets that bad, we can try to heal you with magic." He offered, I only nodded in response, my jaw was beginning to hurt.

"Th...Thanks..." I sputtered, sounding pretty pathetic, but I couldn't help the pain and numbness starting to crawl through my body as the temperature seemed to drop even more.

In fact, the snow that was once just gliding down to the snowy floor, was now stinging my face as I tried desperately to keep myself warm. I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed, sans gave me a strange look and then glanced around at the blizzard that was forming, almost like he didn't expect this to happen.

"Listen kid, no puzzles today, we're going straight to mine and Paps' house, okay?!" He called out to me, having to raise his voice over the harsh wind.

"Okay!" I responded with what little voice I had left.

"Grab onto my hand and hold onto it and Raksha tight! We're gonna take a shortcut!" He yelled to me again, I was straining to hear him now, but managed to piece together what he said.

Before I could question him on why I needed to hold his hand, he grabbed onto me and suddenly, I felt like I was being ripped from reality itself, and with the suddenness of it and how light headed I was already, I passed out.

~sans~

In seconds, we were at my house, but what I didn't expect was to be nearly dragged over by her limp body, in fact, both her and her dog weren't moving, except for their chest, fortunately. My soul skipped a beat for a moment as I thought that my "shortcut" had killed them, but I calmed down once I saw their stomachs moving up and down. I couldn't just leave them on the ground though, looks like I had some work to do. I picked her up, and to my surprise, she didn't feel too heavy, I barely had to struggle to pick her up bridal style and lay her down on the couch. After that, I went upstairs and grabbed a couple blankets out of Paps room, since he basically has a surplus, and I carefully laid them over her, trying not to wake her up right away.

'Can't believe I'm doing this all over again, she's gonna gain my trust, and then she's gonna go reset and kill everyone. Also it's funny how such a powerful being such as herself, could be so easily defeated by the cold. I guess I can't really blame her though, can I? I don't know how cold it actually gets out there.' I thought to myself.

"Maybe I should check her stats and her soul, get a better reading on her." I said to no one in particular.

First I held out my hand, palm down, and quickly curled my fingers into a fist, grabbing onto her soul and gently easing it out of her chest. The first thing that surprised me was that it was a bright green, the trait of Kindness. Looking closer at it, however, it seemed to have a huge crack going down the middle- I guess crack isn't the right word, it was more like a scar, the line was a lighter shade of green and had smaller lines attached to the main one.

"Damn, kid... what have you been through?" I asked aloud, but there was no response.

I kept staring at her soul, I seemed to be entranced by something... something about her soul, just made me so interested in it...

'I wonder if I-'

As soon as I touched her soul, light burst into my eyes and the scene was completely different. I was no longer in my house under ground, but in some other house on the surface, sitting on a couch watching tv, it seemed to be the human news. I looked over next to me and saw Anstella watching the news rather intensely, as in she had both feet planted on the ground, hands gripping the couch, and had a look of confusion and worry. I looked out the window and all seemed to be fine, that is, until I actually started listening to the tv.

"Sightings of military planes have been seen in various areas across the United States, and locals in those areas have been pre warned to evacuate the area. If you're watching now and you see your area on the screen, please evacuate immediately. More bomb threats are being ensued as the enemy raids towns, killing more than 200 people at a time. The U.S. military is doing everything they can, so please remain calm and find shelter." I stopped listening to the news once Anstella spoke.

"This is fucking bullshit I can't believe- god damn it!" She screamed, getting up and packing everything she could.

"I just fucking turned 21 are you kidding me?! Just got this decent apartment and now it's all gonna be turned to rubble by some nuclear bomb because people are fucking brainless and don't know what the hell they're doing?!" She spat, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what I was seeing and hearing.

'I know humans have waged war on each other in the past, but I kind of thought that was over now... looks like I was wrong.'

I saw a familiar big bag where she was cramming whatever she could into it, then I noticed Raksha looking at her with curiosity. When she caught Raksha staring at her, she freezed for a moment, then dropped everything she was doing and hooked her up with a harness and attached a leash to it, after that, she went back to packing. Once she was done, she grabbed Raksha and shoved her into her car, and off she drove. With that, I was blinded by white light again, and once it faded out, I was back in my house, Anstella's soul still floating above my hands. What I noticed, however, is that there were two green glowing scars going across her forehead. I took a deep breath and reached down, lightly running my fingers across the rigid lines until-

More bright light.

Next, I was standing in a dark room, the only light that shown was a blue lava lamp, which seemed to have glitter or something in it. But what I saw was heart breaking. I saw her, when she was younger, and she had a little razor in her hand and little streams of blood running down her arm, but her face had no sign of emotion, just an empty expression as she looked on at what she'd done to herself. I walked over to her and tried to take the metal away from her, but I phased through it, I almost forgot that these were memories.

"Kid... please don't..." I said hopelessly.

The room glitches for a second and suddenly I'm watching her have a mental breakdown in the same dark room. Her face is twisted into one of pure fear, she was sitting up with her knees up to her chest as she rocked back and forth, hugging her self and pleading to no one.

"Please stop I don't wanna feel like this anymore, I'm so sorry if I did anything wrong, I don't mean to, I'm sorry I'm sorry, please make it stop!" She whispered.

I couldn't do much but stand there and watch her continue like this for a few more minutes, until suddenly, she just stopped. After a moment she got up and left the room, I only wish I could help in some way, or if I could know what was scaring her so much. Before the memory ended, a bunch of horrible pictures flashed in my face, mutated beasts stepping out from the dark, people with insane grins facing her with weapons as she helplessly tries to fight back, natural disasters coming forth while she's defenseless to escape them, and more. That light came back and I was back in the living room, the first thing I see is her staring back up at me with wide eyes, I gulped.

"S-sorry, I didn't think you'd-" she cut me off.

"What are you doing with my soul? And why is your hand on my forehead?" She asked.

"I-I was just... just checking it, a-and.... checking to see if you have a... fever? Heheh..." I laughed nervously, I could feel the heat rushing to my cheek bones in embarrassment, this isn't going to end well.

She reach up, grabbed my wrist, and slowly brought my arm down, all while looking me in the eyes, "put it back." She said sternly, I gulped and nodded, sending her soul gliding back into her chest.

"Thank you... now tell me, what were you really doing?" She asked, sitting up this time.

I sighed and cleared my throat, trying to think of another excuse, I mean, who's gonna believe someone who tells them they just saw their memory's through two imaginary scars on their forehead? Then again, she seems to be fine with the fact that she can see her own soul, so I breathed, planned out what I was gonna say, and answered her.

"Well, I was checking to see what your main trait for your soul was, which is Kindness, and I... I noticed that it was scarred, badly... S-so I went to touch it and... I uh... saw a memory of yours. Once the memory was over, I saw two green scars going across your forehead, so uh... I ran my fingers across the scars and another memory popped up..." I confessed, looking at the ground.

"What memories did you see?..." she asked, getting that nervous look on her face again.

I felt guilty for invading her mental privacy, but I didn't mean to, "I-I, um... well, the first memory, you were in your apartment watching tv, then the news started talking about bombs and such, so you packed everything you could, grabbed your dog, and left." I summed up to her, it was her turn to be interested in the ground.

"And the second memory?" She continued.

"Oh... the second one... you... you were younger, and you were in your bedroom with nothing but a blue lava lamp that gave any light, and uh... I... I saw you holding a... a uh..." I shifted uncomfortably, a memory like that is usually best left in the past, "A razor..." I saw her nod, refusing to look up from the ground, "And... there was blood going down your arm. Then the room glitched for a moment, and you were having some mental break down or a panic attack... you were rocking back and forth, hugging yourself and begging for forgiveness and for something to end... and after awhile, you just... stopped, then left the room. After that, these images started flashing in front of me, things like mutant creatures crawling out from the dark and psycho killers trying to kill you... then the memory was over..." I explained, not once did she look up, in fact, she looked ashamed.

"I'm sorry..." she barely whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's one way to get to know someone


	7. A Different Kind of Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You ever have moments like this?

Diary entry #26                                           7/16/202x

So I just met this walking, talking, skeleton dude named Sans, believe it or not. Also apparently the whole underground is just full of magic, it's snowing for Pete's sake! There's random music, there's save points, I can see my stats... other monsters can see my stats if they wanted (talking about Sans), so I can pretty much confirm that I'm in a game. Though, I've always wanted to be in a game, I just didn't think it would be like this. Unfortunately for me, Sans was also able to see into my memories, and of course, they had to be the two worst ones. Cause that's always a good first impression on someone, they accidentally stumble upon your memories of you having a mental break down and hearing about a nuclear war. But I was able to get some alone time while Sans went to this place called "Grillbys," what an odd name.

____________________________________

I sat alone in the small house on the little green couch, the blanket sans gave me was laid over my legs while my mind was focused on a game on my phone, since getting on any social media would only remind me of what's going on up there right now. I didn't want to be reminded, I wanted to forget, forget as easily as I forgot so many equations and formulas in algebra. Now that the thought has settled itself in my mind though, not even the game could distract me from these cruel whispers and scenarios, replaying themselves over and over in my head. At this point I was starting another one of my evil fits, moments where my distress, anger, and sadness get the best of me, and that's where my singing comes into play, I'll sing my heart out to angry songs, sad songs, even slightly murderous songs.

I stand up, take a deep breath, and...

"Hands.... of time will wring my neck."  
"Every little moment spells regret!"  
"But I don't have to feel this way."  
"As a voice inside my head."  
"Oyasumi, Oyasumi!"  
"Close your eyes and you'll leave this dream!"  
"Oyasumi, Oyasumi,"  
"I know that it's hard to do!"

...

"Distant flickerings."  
"It's greener scenery."  
"This weather's bringing it all back again."  
"Great adventures."  
"Faces in condensation."  
"I'm going outside to take it all in."  
"You say "Too late to start, got your heart in a headlock..."  
"I don't believe any of it."  
"You say "Too late to start with your heart in a headlock..."  
"You know you're better that this."

...

"I'm heading straight for the castle."  
"They wanna make me their queen."  
"And there's an old man sitting on a throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean."  
"I'm heading straight for he castle."  
"They've got the kingdom locked up."  
"And there's an old man sitting on a throne that's saying that I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut."  
"I'm heading straight for the castle."

...

"This is gospel, for the vagabonds, ne'er-do-wells, and insufferable bastards."  
"Confessing their apostasies."  
"Led away by imperfect imposters."  
"Oh-woah-oh oh oh-oh..."  
"Oh-woah-oh oh oh-oh..."  
"Don't try to sleep through the end of the world,"  
"And bury me alive."  
"Cause I won't give up without a fight..."  
"If you love me let me go!"  
"If you love me let me go!"  
"Cause these words are knives that often leave scars,"  
"The fear of falling apart."  
"Truth be told I never was yours."  
"The fear, the fear of falling apart."

...

"Thank you."  
"I'll say goodbye soon."  
"Though it's the end of the world."  
"Don't blame yourself,"  
"Now."  
"And if it's true."  
"I will surround you."  
"And give life to a world."  
"That's our own."

...

"I could go off the deep end!"  
"I could kill all my best friends!"  
"I could follow those stylish trends."  
"God knows I could make amends!"  
"But I've got an angry heart!"  
"Filled with cancers and poppy tarts!"  
"If this is how you folks make art, it's fucking depressing!"  
"And it's sad, to know..."  
"That we are not alone..."  
"And it's sad to know there's no honest way out."

...

"I... do... believe..."  
"In the light..."  
"Raise your hands up to the sky."  
"The fight is done..."  
"The war is won..."  
"Lift your hands towards the sun."

Tears began to slip down my face as I continued to sing this certain song, the chorus and music playing itself inside my head.

"Towards the sun..."  
(It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie, it's the moment to live and the moment to die)  
"Towards the sun..."  
(It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie, it's the moment to live and the moment to die)  
"Towards the sun..."  
(It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie, it's the moment to live and the moment to die)  
"The war is won..."  
(Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! FIGHT!)

I felt tears slip down my cheeks as a new image appeared in my head. I imagined myself walking out of the darkness of the underground, the monsters following behind me, and taking a step into the rays of sun that shone on the dirt. I would reach my hand up to feel the heat of the sun as it rose over the horizon and shined light on all the trees. I would be looking at a new world, no more war, no more damage, no more pain... only life and happiness. I started to picture my parents running up to me and giving me a ginormous hug, telling me that I did a great job and that the war was over and that everything was okay now.

I fell to my knees, that would never happen, they're dead. But I held onto that image for as long as I could till the pain of it shone through the light, I knew it would never happen, yet I held on for dear life until I was hunched over my knees in tears, crying openly of my misery.

"IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! IT'S ALL GONE, THEY'RE ALL GONE! THEY WONT COME BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WANT THEM TO! I WONT GET OUT OF HERE AND THIS STUPID FUCKING WAR WILL NEVER END! PEOPLE WILL KEEP DYING AND SUFFERING AT THE HANDS OF THOSE DEMONS, AND I CAN'T DO A SINGLE FUCKING THING BECAUSE IM SO STUPID AND WORTHLESS! I COULDN'T SAVE THEM!! I COULDN'T FUCKING SAVE-" The front door creaked opened in the middle of my verbal rampage, and it was non other than sans.

"Hey... I uh... walked out of Grillbys and someone ran over and said someone was screaming inside my house... so I came as quickly as possible to see if you were... if you were alright..." He said in a quiet voice, his tone was gentle.

"..." I continued to stare at him, more tears threatening to accompany the ones already sliding down my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" He asked, stepping into the house and shutting the door.

Dammit, all it took was those three words and I was back to being an emotional mess, my teeth clenched together, my face scrunched up, and my whole body was so tense it hurt, I hurt everywhere.

~sans~

I had actually lied to her a bit, I was walking back from Grillbys and as I got up to the house, I could hear her singing. I couldn't help but listen, her voice was almost enchanting, and even though she had her mess ups, I found them quite adorable, and she would get right back on track. She was putting on a concert in there, one song after another, until she sang that last song. She got to that certain part and I could tell in her voice that she was getting choked up, she tried to keep singing, despite sounding on the verge of tears. She sang a line and stopped, I couldn't hear anything for a few minutes, I began to get worried until I heard sobbing, I was a bit confused, and I was fighting the emotion of feeling bad for her, but I lost that battle when I heard her yell. What she cried out made my soul ache for her, I barely know her and she's already got me sympathizing with her, I know how she feels. I could feel a bitter cold on my cheekbones after a moment, and realized I was crying too, but I couldn't stop, so I threw my hoodie up and tried to take deep breathes. I was able to pull myself together quick enough to wipe the tears off my face and go in and confront her.

Now she's sitting helplessly on the ground crying in front of me.

"Wh- hey hey! Shhhh hey... calm down.. deep breathes k-kid... come on..." I tried to speak in a soft voice, but I was getting choked up again.

"I-I'm sorry you have to see me like this again, I-... I just... I don't know what to do now! I-I'm so lost and helpless and broken and stupid and weak and-" I had to cut her off, I could never stand it when someone put themselves down.

"Shh shh... no, you're none of those things..." I couldn't think of what else to say, I was never really good at comforting people.

"I... I couldn't even save them, sans... I could've taken them with me, I could've rescued them... a-and I didn't. I want to go back, sans... I want them to be alive again... I want to hear their voices and see their smiles... I..." she hiccuped and brought her arms up to her face, trying to hide, "I want to go to a paradise and see them there, walking around and happy, talking, the rays of sun shining down on them, keeping them warm..." she gasped for air, she was losing it, "I want to join them... they're waiting at the bridge of heaven for me right now, and they're safe..." she gripped her hair and a loud sob escaped her throat, a familiar sadness swept over me, reminding me of all the genocides, how it looked and felt to see papyrus standing there, waiting for me to join him in the light of the after life, glowing blue tears flooded my eye sockets once again.

"Come here... Anstella..." I croaked, my arms open wide while my head was still limp staring at the ground.

I heard her sniffle and shuffle towards me on her legs until she was right up against me, her face buried into my shoulder and her arms wrapped around me tight, gripping the back of my shirt. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and slowly hugged back, zipping up my sweatshirt around us both, and we stayed like that for what seemed like forever as we both tried to calm down. It worked, and she accidentally fell asleep on me. I lifted my head to see her worn out face, the bags under her eyes, the puffiness after crying, her read face was slowly regaining its normal skin color and streaks of dry tears stained her face. I felt awful for her, I guess I'm not so alone in this mess of a life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this chapter:   
> bo en (my time) - Omori trailer music  
> Headlock - Imogen Heap  
> Castle - Halsey  
> This is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco  
> Goodbye to a World - Porter Robinson  
> Brave as a Noun - Andrew Jackson Jihad  
> This is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars


	8. Taking A Look Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did he get into her phone? Good question... magic.

~sans~

I carefully laid Anstella back on our couch, pulling the blanket back on top of her and looking over her once more to make sure she's comfortable. While I was lost in my thoughts, I felt something wet touch my hand, I had completely forgotten about her dog. I smiled and pet the husky's head, her tail wagging at the kind gesture. I was about to go upstairs to my room until my brother popped into the house, about to yell at me for Asgore knows what until I held a finger up to my mouth and hushed him.

"What is it sans? Are we playing the quiet game again?" Papyrus asked.

I shook my head and pointed at the couch, when he looked, he almost burst out again with joy, I tried frantically to keep him quiet, but I ended up having to drag him back outside.

"OH MY GOD SANS! IS THAT REALLY A HUMAN??" I don't think his smile could get any bigger.

"Yes bro, but hear me out, this human has been through a lot for a long time, she needs a break. So no puzzles and stuff for right now until she gets used to the under ground, okay?" I tried to inform him lightly, not wanting to bring up anything about a war.

"OHH BUT SANS! MAYBE A GOOD PUZZLE AND SOME OF MY FAMOUS SPAGHETTI IS JUST WHAT THE HUMAN NEEDS-"

"Papyrus, please understand, give her a few days."

"OKAY..." he sighed, I hated bringing down his spirits, but he always found a way to stay positive.

"BUT HEY! I'VE FINALLY CAPTURED A HUMAN! NYEH HEH HEH!" He laughed triumphantly, I smiled and patted his arm.

"You sure did bro."

One day after another would go by, but I could barely get her to speak about anything, she would either look emotionless, zoned out, or if I tried to push her to tell me something, she'd break down. It was hard, and slightly frustrating, she barely got off the couch, and when she did, she'd go on walks alone. I was lucky once that she actually let me go on a walk with her, but there wasn't much said in that time, just awkward small talk. Today, however, fate gave me an opportunity to really find out what's up with her when she fell asleep with her phone on. I knew it was wrong on so many levels, I was invading her privacy, but I can't keep waiting around for her to snap out of this seemingly infinite shock she's been in, I had to take matters into my own hands.

I took a deep breath and slowly grabbed her phone, it was a touch screen, so technologically advanced. How I was able to use it? Magic, that's all the explaining I need to do. She was going through this social media app called FaceBook, weird, it looks a lot like the UnderNet. I began to scroll through her feed, stopping frequently on posts and updates I'm assuming are from survivors. I was starting to understand why she's so in shock now, I never thought I would read what I read.

"Attack on America, People Dropping by the Thousands."

"Americans Are Giving Up, Increase on Suicide Rates."

"Reported Murders and Rape are Going Off the Charts, Nothing Cops can do."

"Emergency, People Being Requested to Evacuate the Entire Continent."

"Nuclear Warfare Will Not Let Up, Citizens Warned to Evacuate the U.S."

All these articles were nothing but the war happening right above us, suddenly the underground has become more of a blessing, monsters would go extinct if we were up there right now. I shook my head and had to focus again, focus on finding out more about her. I clicked the "home" button on her phone and began rummaging through some of her other apps. Once I found her photos, I tapped as quickly as I could so I could see who she was. As I looked at photos, a small genuine smile creeped across my face. My smile turned to sympathy once I remembered that all these people were gone now, just a memory kept on her phone, they all looked so happy... She looked so happy. Aside from the funny little pictures she took, she overall seemed okay, but I remembered I saw a "notes" app on her phone as well, I decided to check it out.

I opened up the app and it said she had 60 notes, I really began to get curious. I finally tapped on the bar and it took me to big list of notes, quite a few of them were diary entries, so I scrolled down a bit and clicked on a random entry.

Diary entry #10 5/12/202x

Okay, I know I keep putting the date as "202x," but in reality it's 2027, and this war still hasn't let up, I don't even know where I am anymore honestly, I can't ask, I can't show myself and get caught. It's been a little over a year now since this war suddenly began, and it's just been me and Raksha. I'm 22 years old now and everything has been taken away from me, my family, my friends, my dreams... all gone. Raksha is the only thing keeping me going, I can't just kill myself and leave her to fend for herself, only to get shot, starve, or get blown up. I don't know how I've been surviving this long, these military asshats have been dragging their feet everywhere, it's getting harder and harder to break into abandoned stores and gather food for both me and Raksha. Needless to say I've grown used to not eating for a few days at a time, and unfortunately, so has Raksha... she doesn't look as good as she used to... since I've got nothing to brush her with, and with all the running around we've had to do, her fur has matted to her skin and I'm pretty sure she had mange, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'd probably be giving her mercy if I just shot her in the head and killed her myself, then she wouldn't have to suffer anymore, but I just... can't bring myself to do such a thing, I mean, she doesn't understand what's happening, so she's still just as happy as ever. How? How can a dog be so positive in times of need? I just want to die...

I read the last of the entry and had to take a deep breath, I could feel that lump in my throat again. I decided to skip the other entries and see what else she had written in her notes.

Fan fiction. A lot of fan fiction. Her and Alphys would be best friends in an instant.

One of the notes, however, caught my eye, so I clicked on it, I soon realized it was a song.

Tell them I'm sorry for everything that I've done.

Tell them that I really did have fun.

But when the bombs start dropping, is when I have to go.

And when I'm leaving I hope that you know.

*instrumental*

I chuckled silently at the fact that she felt the need to add "instrumental" in there, but I guess it would help if there's music.

When I'm out walking, I'll leave you behind.

Cause who needs critics or valentines?

But when the bombs start dropping, I'll have to exercise.

To be on my way to a new paradise.

And if you want to come with me then let's get ready to go.

Cause I don't wanna die here all alone.

And when the bombs start dropping is when I'll start running,

Cause in paradise is where I'll find home.

 

Don't tell me to pause  
Cause I won't wait  
If you choose to walk backwards  
Well, that's your fate

But when the bombs start dropping  
I'll wanna run  
And I'll keep going  
Till I see the sun

Because paradise is where home is  
And home is where our paradise lives  
But with the bombs dropping  
Home isn't here

Cause I'd rather die anywhere  
Not there  
Or there  
Or here.

So tell them I'm sorry for everything that I've done.

Tell them that I really did have fun.

But when the bombs start dropping, is when I have to go.

And when I'm leaving I hope that you know

That

When I'm out walking, I'll leave you behind.

Cause who needs critics or valentines?

But when the bombs start dropping, I'll have to exercise

To be on my way to a new paradise

And if you want to come with me then let's get ready to go.

Cause I don't wanna die here all alone.

And when the bombs start dropping is when I'll start running,

Cause in paradise is where I'll find home.

Cause in paradise is where I'll find home.

Cause in paradise is where I'll find home.

And don't try to tell me there no where else to go.

Cause in paradise, you know

Is where I'll find home.

I finished reading the song and pondered it, taking in all the feeling that was put into it, she had quite the talent. I looked through some more notes and, out of boredom, read a couple of her fan fictions, which were actually really interesting. After reading a couple more, I scrolled back to the top of her notes, and before I clicked out, I noticed her most recent note had mine and Paps name in it, I decisively clicked on the note.

Diary entry #31 7/25/202x

I've been down here for maybe a week and a half now, I've been staying at Sans and Papyrus's house. I haven't been really keeping track of time much, now that I can finally sit and think about everything that's happened, and it's all crashing down on me, and it hurts. It hurts knowing that everyone that I love and care about are dead and I'm not. I wish I was dreaming, I wish I was in a coma, but I'm not, this is real. Though, a part of me is glad I fell down here, monsters are nice and friendly, even though they've fought me numerous times, I know they were just afraid. I've died and came back numerous times as well, even now it still shocks me that my life has turned into a game.  
Sans has been such a good friend to me, even though I've been being difficult, his brother is pretty cool to, and I feel guilty for not wanting to go out much, or when I do, wanting to be alone, I'll make it up to them soon.

'Huh, I didn't think she even liked me that much, let alone consider me a good friend. She also seemed to catch on right away that this whole world is literally a game... maybe I could...- No. I don't trust her enough to just tell her something like that, who knows what she could up and do with that information. I'm gonna keep an eye on her, I need to know more about her personality, I need to know what she does when she thinks no one's watching her, I need to see for myself how she handles a fight, I need to know if she's lying to me or not, I need to know.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used: When the Bombs Start Dropping - by me, I made the song up a while ago


	9. Quite the Imagination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song memoryyyy

I went on another walk today just to clear my mind of last nights dream, it was just so... out of line from my other dreams, I can barely remember it, but it's getting on my nerves nonetheless. The only part I can remember clearly was seeing sans gazing at me, and oddly enough, he was the most calming part of my dream. Just... the way he stood there, not having a care in the world, and the light from the sun behind him gave him this aura, as if he was an angel. I took slow, deep breaths, keeping that image clear in my mind, what caught me off guard was that the corners of my lips began to tug themselves into a smile, I stopped and thought to myself.

'No... I've already tried love, it didn't work. Like my friend said, I've built my walls so high, that I've probably tricked myself into thinking I can't feel romantically towards someone. God... even the thought scares me, I've been so hooked on not caring that it's almost like I'm too far gone to even try. I can't open up to anyone, I don't want to show that I care, it's... hard... really, really hard, and I hate it.'

I walked further into Waterfall until I got to the little cross bridges that went over small creeks of glowing blue water and stood for a moment, taking in the beautiful scenery. I gazed around, the contrast between the darkness of the cave and the soft blue glow from the water, echo flowers, and gems stuck inside the wall, gave me a sense of wonder. After a few minutes, I caught myself humming a familiar tune.

"Hmm hm hm, hmm hm hm. Hmm hm hm hm hm hmmm hmmm." I continued, going heavy on the vibrato at the end of the long notes, then I began to remember words.

"Once upon a December..." my eyes widened and I whipped out my phone, typing furiously into google search to look up the lyrics, success.

I pulled up the lyrics, but I found I couldn't remember the rest of the tune very well, so I pulled up YouTube and found a music box version of the song, which went well with the scenery. The music began, echoing off the walls of the cave, creating more of a quiet atmosphere as I prepared to sing. The song deepened its tone, preparing for my part.

"Dancing bears, painted wings."

"Things I almost remember."

Blue lines began to form various shapes until I realized it was a person, I feel like I knew them, but I continued to sing.

"And a song someone sings..."

"Once upon a December."

The women figure walked forward and opened her arms up, then closed them around me as a hug, it felt all too familiar.

"Someone holds me safe and warm."

The blue lines formed horses running in place beside me, there were soldiers riding their backs.

"Horses prance through a silver storm."

The women had let go and was seemingly ball room dancing with a man.

"Figures dancing gracefully, across my memory..."

It hit me as I continued to sing an octave higher, these were my memories, the music picked up, becoming more dramatic as my emotions surfaced with the song.

"Far away, long ago..."

A house was barely visible in front of me, it was the first house we actually bought.

"Glowing dim as an ember."

The blue lines were flashing scenes from my mind, both good and bad memories played in front of me.

"Things my heart used to know..."

"Once upon a December."

The shapes suddenly became clear, it was mom and dad, I began to dance with them as I sung.

"Someone hold me safe and warm!"

"Horses prance through a silver storm!"

"Figures dancing gracefully!"

"Across my memory!"

I slammed my foot down, and the blue strings of magic turned red.

"Far away, long ago!"

"Glowing dim as an ember!"

It made the shape of a knife in my hand, and formed soldiers in front of me.

"Things my heart, used to know!"

I swung at them, making them blow away like dust in the wind.

"Things it yearns to remem-!...ber..."

then the red shifted to blue again as I breathed heavily, trying to calm down, ending on a soft note, I took a breath and looked down, the make shift knife fading out of my grasp.

"And a song... someone sings..." 

I lifted my head to see my mom smiling gently at me, she brought her hands up, one hand cupping the side of my face, and the other resting gently on my shoulder.

"Once upon a dece-em-ber." 

I held the last note as my mom kissed my forehead and was blown away like the soldiers, then I ended the song with the music.

I sighed and looked back towards the ground, a small smile stuck on my face, it felt nice to remember what I used to have.

~sans~

I watched in awe at the whole performance, I don't even know how she made those images appear, I didn't think magic like that existed. But then I started to wonder, how does a human have the ability to do that? Oh but her voice, it kept dancing in my head like those blue figures, it was so elegant and entrancing, she had my full attention, no doubt other monsters were watching her from the shadows, how could they not? And the way she sung, you could say she was telling you a story, her story, I could feel the heat rushing to my cheekbones.

'Damn it sans, pull yourself together! You're never gonna love and you're never gonna be loved! She's only going to hurt you in the end...' I scolded myself, trying to push her voice out of my mind.

I shook my head and teleported away to the forest to clear my mind.

~Anstella~

In the midst of the silence, I heard a noise that sounded a lot like a camera lense, so I walked towards the noise and came up to a bush. Inside the bush, however, was a camera, watching my every move.

"What in the fuck??" I said to myself.

I backed off and looked around for anyone else, then I grabbed my phone and left the area, paranoid that someone is planning to jump me.

~Alphys~

I had recorded her whole little performance, and now I was fangirling hard while Mettaton went on to develop the footage for his next episode, beaming about how it would be his greatest one yet. I have a good feeling about this human, she's pretty, she's talented, she's kind, maybe she'll be the one to set us all free. But for now, I gotta keep watch of her, just in case something goes wrong, because that scene where she killed those soldiers with one swift swipe, was a teensy bit concerning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used: Once Upon A December from Anastasia


	10. Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't let the title deceive you.

Another rough week goes by as I continued to do very little with the brothers and remained mostly silent, besides the small talk. However, tonight, when they went to bed, and I got comfy on the couch, I finally realized.

"The surface is no longer my concern." I said quietly to myself, my eyes wide open.

I don't have to care anymore, I don't have to worry. Down here, I can walk around freely without fearing for my life, because even if I died, I would come back. I smiled, then chuckled, and it wasn't until I was sat up on the couch and clutched my head that I realized I had probably just snapped. I couldn't stop giggling, but it wasn't a happy giggle, but I just... can't stop. What's happening to me? I got up and stumbled out the door, trying to close it as quietly as possible.

"He he he he he... hahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I was full out laughing like a maniac, barely able to stand as I let this unbearable feeling take over.

I was starting to gasp for air now, feeling tears prick at my eyes, finally kneeling into the snow, and letting the cold numb my legs. I didn't like this feeling, and I swore I would do anything not to feel it again, yet here I am, sitting in the snow in the middle of the night, going insane. I laid the rest of my body in the snow, and for the first time, it actually felt good, and the horrible sensation of me no longer in control of myself faded. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment, letting the numbness take over the rest of my body.

Once I was content with the bitter cold, I hoisted myself off the ground and brushed the snow off my clothes, realizing how soaked I was. Usually it would bother me, but I was too tired to care now, so I trudged back home and silently back into their house. When I closed the door, I immediately picked some pajamas sans got for me a couple weeks earlier, headed into the bathroom, and changed. By now my eyes could barely stay open while I trudged downstairs, I flopped onto the couch, not caring if the blanket was over me or not, and fell asleep almost right away.

In my dream, I was back in the middle of that damn war, but this time, everything went my way. I got people to listened when I yelled at them, do what I wanted them to, and beat the shit out of people who dared to defy me. Needless to say, it was a good dream, I was in control, people listened to me. When I woke up, I couldn't have been in a happier mood. I got up and stretched, looking down to find Raksha starring at me with curiosity.

"What?" I asked in a weirdly high pitched voice, bending down next to her, and she bared her belly for me to scratch.

"What, naughty dog? Yeah, you're naughty, spoiled little brat." I joked, knowing she didn't understand a word I said, just enjoying the belly scratchings.

Then I felt restless, and therefore, Raksha was my victim for play time. I made fake 'grrs' and growls at her while grabbing gently at her paws, rolling her over, getting on my hands and knees and hovering over her while hitting the floor in an animalistic way to show I wanted to play. Of course Raksha picked up on it right away and began to shove me back with her paws, bitting at my hands and squirming around as I moved. Soon she was up on her feet and batting at me playfully, I moved in the way she did when she played with other dogs, frequently slapping the ground and getting into the "playful stance" laughing when she went after my hands and played back.

~Sans~

I woke up to the sound of a weird growl from downstairs, so out of curiosity and slight concern, I pushed my self up and out of bed to see what all the ruckus was about. I cracked open the door silently and heard the little growls more clearly, along with some giggling, I slowly made my way to the little balcony and found Anstella playing with Raksha. I grinned calmly as I watched her act almost just like a dog, and in it's own funny way, it was kind of-.... it was kind of humerus, yeah.

'God, you've only known her for a month, get a damn hold of yourself sans.' I scolded myself once again, managing to tear my eyes off her, debating on wether I should try and get back to sleep or just go downstairs and say hello.

I heard squeaky noises that brought me out of my thoughts, when I looked down, they were playing tug-of-war, and Anstella and Raksha were pretty damn strong against each other. There were points were Raksha would tug on the rope and bring Anstella with it, and then there were times where Anstella did the same. A couple times, she purposefully let go of the rope when Raksha tugged, sending her falling back on her butt, which was quite amusing to watch as she got up, wagged her tail, and brought the toy back to Anstella. What really surprised me was the sudden change in attitude, after all these weeks of sadness and despair, suddenly it's as if nothing bad ever happened to her. I finally decide to walk down and greet her, seeing if her bright attitude would change at the sight of me, and to my relief, it didn't.

"Heya kiddo, havin' fun there?" I asked amused by her face flushing with embarrassment.

"How much of that did you see?" She asked, a nervous smile made its way on her face.

"Pretty much paw of it." I joked, winking an eyesocket.

"Oh dear, heheh..." she hid her face in her hands.

"Someone seems to be in a tail wagging mood today." I commented, bringing her out of her embarrassment.

"I guess so!" She hopped up on her feet, smiling, "Last night, I guess something just kind of made me realize, I don't have to care about the surface anymore, everything that happens up there is no longer my concern. I mean, honestly? Falling down here couldn't be more of a blessing to me, I can walk around safely without worry of being captured, or shot at, or worse. So I guess I just thought... what's the point of dwelling on it if I don't have to?" She confessed, and the entirety of it was... concerning... I know I should feel happy that she feels better, but it just seems so sudden, it didn't feel right.

"Wow... I'm uh... happy for you kid, but don't you think that was a bit too quick of a recovery? Literally you just changed over night, are you sure you're okay?" I asked, giving her a concerned smile, making hers falter slightly.

"W-well... I did kind of have a mental break down..." she looked to the side, rubbing her arm, I decided not to push her any farther, I don't want to ruin her good mood.

"Hm, well anyways, I just came down to see if you were hungry, and if so, if you wanted to go to Grillbys?" I offered, her eyes seemed to light up at the sound of food.

"Oh my god yes! I'm hungry as hell! Literally, my stomach actually hurts right now." She said that so casually, how can she just-... oh, right.

"Dang, let's get going then, all this grumbling is making me hungry too." I said as her stomach growled, she blushed lightly and giggled, embarrassed once more.

'Fuck... why am I feeling this way about a human?'

~Anstella~

As we made our way to Grillbys, the world began to glitch out again, switching between the real Snowdin, and a barren one. When the glitches stopped, all I saw were piles of dust, even sans had disappeared into the powdery grain, but entering a state of panic, I didn't process the fact. I began to shiver and look around desperately.

"Sans?"

~sans~

"Sans?" She asked, her voice laced with worry.

"Yeah kid? Are you okay-" as soon as I turned to her, it was as if she was staring right through me, she began to look around like she has never seen Snowdin before.

"Kid? Anstella? What's wr-"

"Sans? Where are you?!" She cried out, tears pricking at the edge of her eyes.

"Woah kid hey, I'm right he-"

"Th-there's dust everywhere..." she breathed, the tears making their way down her cheeks, that's when I went into shock.

'Does that mean?... No... It can't... This is the first timeline she's ever been in, I'm sure of it! Then why is she seeing dust?' The thoughts swirled in my mind until I focused my attention back on Anstella, who seemed to have been pulled out of her trance and was staring at me, confusion was written all over her face as she continued to cry.

"What... happened?" She choked, a small part of me began to ache at the question.

"I... I might know... but I'll explain later. How... how bout we get something from Grillbys, then take a walk through Water Fall, does that sound good?" I asked, my breath almost as shaky as her own.

She only nodded in response, trying to wipe the continuous stream of tears away from her eyes, but to no avail, she got frustrated.

"I-I can't-"

"Hey hey... here, let me just..." I walked up to her and used the sleeve of my sweater to dry away the tears as she sniffled and looked down.

"You can stop, I can pull myself together." She said rather quickly.

I nodded and pulled away from her, stuffing my hands in my sweater pockets and looking away with embarrassment. Once she composed herself, we headed the rest of the way to Grillbys.

~Anstella~

We stepped inside the small little bar, the sound of calm music and the soft chatter of people filled the room, giving me a sense of security. The monsters payed no mind to me, they only seemed to look up when sans passed by, everyone greeting him with delight.

"Hey sans!"

"Yo sans!"

"Howdy sans!"

"Hey sansy~" some rabbit looking monster purred his name, a part of me didn't like it, another part told the other part to shut the hell up and mind its own business.

We went up and sat down on the stools, though, as soon as I sat down, I heard a loud fart noise, which obviously wasn't me, but who's gonna assume it was a whoopie cushion? Luckily sans made it clear that it was, sort of.

"Careful where ya sit, weirdos like to leave whoopie cushions everywhere." He shrugged, winking, I couldn't help but give a smile.

"I didn't know there was more than one weirdo." I chuckled, he seemed to get it.

"Oh yeah, they're everywhere, I wonder who this one weirdo you speak of is?" He said, putting his hand up to his chin, pretending to think.

I leaned over and put my right hand on the left side of my mouth, and pointed my thumb at the drunken monster behind me and whispered, "I think it was him."

Sans busted out with laughter, and I could feel my cheeks flushing. I couldn't describe how his laugh made me feel, like yeah, it was contagious, he had me laughing. But it was just... man... I could listen to it all day...

'Oh for fucks sake- knock it off! It hurts!' I thought to myself, my chest tightening in pain at the thought of liking someone.

I sucked in a breath of air and let it out slowly as sans calmed down from his laughing fit.

"Kid, that was golden, I haven't met a human with this much sense of humor in my entire monster life!" He told me, his cheeks beginning to light up a bright blue.

"Thank you? I mean, like, I'm not that funny, but I certainly try to be." I said with a smile.

"Well, it seems to come naturally for ya." He complimented.

We both chuckled at each other and ordered our food, and for the rest of the time, I couldn't stop talking about the monster made of fire, Grillby himself. I was astonished that the flames didn't burn me, or anything he touched, and I couldn't tell for sure, but sans seemed to shift uncomfortably after a while of me asking 10,000 questions.

~sans~

I know she was just impressed, and for a little bit, it was cute- FUNNY... in a way. But then as she kept going, I could feel myself getting somewhat... jealous? Another part of me began to look down on myself, telling me I'll never be as amazing or intriguing, I'm just a skeleton, nothing more, nothing less. I shifted awkwardly when she asked yet another question, that I could only answer as magic.

"Hey, you finished with that burger?" I asked, pointing at her empty plate, knowing I asked a stupid question. Mentally, I wanted to die.

"No, it just disappeared. Of course I am!" She laughed, easing my discomfort a bit, making me chuckle.

"Sorry, heheh, well... ya wanna head to Water Fall?" I asked, getting off my seat and turning to her.

She nodded and hopped off her own seat, following me out the door as we waved goodbye. She asked me why I put it on my tab, in which I told her I didn't have any money at the moment. This however, didn't stop her curiosity, she asked how much I had on my tab. Of course, I stopped keeping track after the 7th reset, so I wasn't exactly sure. So I lied and said I had about 10 G on it, so she would get off the subject. Before we knew it, we entered the damp area, she gazed at everything. She was so full of wonder and curiosity, even after all the trauma she had been through, perhaps she has finally snapped from it all, just another Frisk, going by the name of Anstella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be true to your feelings.


	11. Spark of Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shocking.

We chatted some as we went through Snowdin and into the wet caves of Water Fall, however, it wasn't much warmer than the snowy town, but the beautiful scenery made up for it. I don't know why, but we both seemed to grow quieter as we stepped deeper into the watery realm, perhaps it was the change in atmosphere, from cheery loud, to calm and quiet. While I still admired the sights it had to offer, out of the corner of my eye, sans didn't seem so focused, he looked almost slightly frustrated. I know that look, he's trying to decide something, and now I can't help but wonder what it is.

"Hey sans," I spoke up casually, making him flinch and shake his head.

"What? Huh?- Oh, yeah kid?" He looked over at me, looking a little embarrassed, I just gave him a confused smile and continued.

"How're you guys so nice? Like, you're all so much more calm and collected than humans. If you stuck a small colony of humans down here, I bet you that within a year, they'd all have killed each other... so, how do you do it?" I asked, not bothering to look at him.

"That, I can't really tell ya kid, I guess it's in our nature? Monsters are a complex species, even we don't know how we work sometimes, we just, do what we know, what we think is right, and somehow... it all works out? It sounds ridiculous, but it's true." He sighed, I don't think I've ever heard him answer something in a serious, yet curious tone, like he was actually trying.

Before we knew it, we were in that open area with the glowing blue creeks and fluorescent flowers, the only sound was the water gently flowing. Once again my gaze was held on the beauty of it all, I almost forgot sans was there.

~sans~

I know we haven't known each other for long, maybe only a month and a half at most, but I can't help but feel for her, yes she might be losing it, but it's not her fault. Now the one thing I can't get out of my head is how I can help her, but... the only way to do that is if I can get her to trust me enough to let me see into her soul, her memories, thoughts, experiences, fears, and feelings, and I have a feeling that she's gonna be a hard nut to crack. What if she agrees, but then turns back last minute? The magic could backfire on her, or both of us, or just me, I don't know, I've never tried it before, so maybe the backlash won't be so bad, just a tiny spark, yeah, just stay positive, sans.

Once we got to the area where I saw her sing that song... that glorious song... and her voice... gah! Anyways, I saw her look around curiously, I almost felt bad to ask such a personal thing from her, but it doesn't hurt to try.

"Hey.. Anstella...?" I asked, nervousness beginning to swell inside my soul.

"Hm?" She turned to me, looking at me with glimmering eyes.

"I-I know that... that we haven't known each other long, but.... I uh, I want to help you, Anstella. I know that you're hurting, but... you don't want anyone's help, believe me, I know better than most how you feel, but, I want you to really understand that I'm here for you, that I will listen to you. But in order to help you effectively, I k-kinda need to... to... s-see inside your soul... but only if that's okay with you..." I tried to maintain eye contact with her, but the embarrassment was over whelming as the heat rushed to my cheek bones. She may not now it, but souls are the most intimate thing for monsters and humans alike, humans just don't really have access to souls like monsters do.

"Oh... oh... I uh... heheh, heh... that's uh, not something you get asked often, I..." she seemed to falter, putting her hand up to her head and moving hair out of her face frantically, looking everywhere else but at me, whilst moving about and chuckling nervously. I decided to give her a minute or two to really think about it, she finally stopped moving and looked lost in thought. After what seemed like hours, she responded.

~Anstella~

When he asked me this, I completely froze. Letting someone see into my soul? That means he would see more of my past... but... maybe it's time to let someone in... maybe... he will actually understand, and actually try to help me. I thought for a little bit longer, and decided.

"O...okay... okay.... I'll allow it. So... how do we do this?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips and smiling nervously.

I seemed to have broke his train of thought again as he shook his head and looked up.

"What?"

"I said I'll allow it." I repeated.

"Oh, oh, okay, heheh..." he chuckled again as we both stood there awkwardly.

"So... what do you need me to do?" I asked again, feeling a little more confident this time.

"Oh! Right, whoops, heheheh... okay, first of all," he paused and walked up to me sheepishly before starting again, "I uh... need you to take my hands..." he said shyly, opening up his palms for my hands to be placed. I could feel the blood begin its journey to my cheeks when I felt his touch.

"Good, now we kinda gotta take this one sitting down, heheh." We both chuckled as we sat crisscross in front of each other.

"Alright, now you need to summon your soul, it'll make the process a lot easier." He said, looking up at my confused face.

"How do I do that?"

"Oh, uh, really you just have to concentrate on the thought of bringing your soul out of you body. Just try it a minute, and if it doesn't work, I'll help ya." he said, a reassuring smile spread across his face. I smiled back and nodded, looking down and closing my eyes.

I imagined the first time my soul was forced out of my body when I entered a fight with Flowey, how it phased out in green blobs and formed into a heart after, I focused on that memory until I heard sans' excited voice.

"Anstella, Anstella you did it! Open your eyes!" He cheered, my eyelids flung open and I looked down at my bright green soul, the only thing wrong with it was that big crack down the middle.

"Awesome! The more you do it, the quicker it'll appear." He said with a wink, making me giggle with pride.

"Okay... now I need to... summon my soul..." his attitude went back to nervous almost as quickly as it changed to happiness, I went to ask him what was wrong, but he had already closed his eyes, so I shut my mouth.

His soul appeared almost immediately, however, I noticed right away why he was so uncomfortable. His soul was blue, and the glow was almost as vibrant as one of the smaller crystals on the walls, so in other words, it was pretty dim. But what really caught my eyes, was that this poor soul had cracks spreading out all over it, as if it would shatter if I even blew on it. He finally opened his eyes and stared sadly at his own soul.

"Sans... what on earth happened?..." I asked, but he only shook his head.

"That's a story for another time, Anstella." He said, I nodded and kept quiet, biting my cheek and trying to think of how to continue this process. Unknowingly, I began to gently rub his hands with my thumbs while thinking.

~sans~

I almost lost all my focus when I felt her thumbs move, I looked down at her hands and started concentrating on the feeling. How could such a small gesture, create such an immense amount of comfort, I wonder? But I couldn't help closing my eyes and soaking up every last bit of the feeling, until she spoke again.

"What now?" She asked rather quietly.

"Hm? Oh, now, we close our eyes, and you focus your mind on me, while I focus my mind on you, okay?"

"Okay." She said.

~Anstella~

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the thought of him, who he was and what he looked like, I felt like I was slipping into sleep until I opened my eyes. I looked up at sans and observed our surroundings, there was nothing, just us and a black space, what we were standing on, I have no clue. I looked back up at him and tilted my head to the side, confused, but when I tried to speak, nothing came out, that's when I began to worry. He must of saw my expression turn as he waved his hands in front of him.

"It's okay, it's okay! The only reason you can't speak is because you don't have control over your magic like I have control over mine, it'll take practice." His voice echoed to me, I took deep breaths and calmed down, then I realized that I could sign to him, but what if he doesn't know sign language? I guess I'll give it a shot.

"What do I do?" I signed, he looked surprised at first, then responded.

"Just slowly make your way over to me. Also, I didn't know you could sign." He sounded impressed, and I felt proud of myself.

"I didn't know you understood sign language." I signed back, smiling.

I began to take slow steps forward as sans held out his arms, encouraging me to keep going. I could hear my footsteps echoing into the nothingness, until I heard a faint whisper in the distance. I looked behind me, but there was just a void, I looked back in front of me and signed again, pointing behind me.

"What was that?" I asked, giving him a questioning look, he seemed to be worried.

"Ignore it, just keep walking slowly." He said.

"Why do I need to walk slowly?" I finally asked him.

"Because, with the flow of magic and those voices, running would make them hit you all at once, and it would break the loop of magic, that could damage us both badly." He said frantically, waving me forward again.

"Oh, I see...." I signed, continuing to walk.

I took two more steps, and I could hear the whispers more clearly now, it took a moment before I realized they were my thoughts, and none of them were very welcoming.

'He'll hurt you, stay away.'

'Stay away from everyone.'

'They want to hurt you.'

'They'll leave you.'

'You want to hurt them.'

'You'll never be good enough for them.'

'Never be good enough for him.'

I tried to take another step foreword, and the voices got a little louder. They tried to reason with me.

'Is this the right decision?'

'The right thing?'

'Right way to go?'

'Are you sure this is what you want?'

'What you need?'

'What if you become unstable?'

'Go insane?'

'Kill them all?'

My breath picked up, I looked at sans, my eyes begging for him.

"Keep going, Anstella, you're almost there!" He called to me, I nodded and took a couple more steps, the voices began to yell at this point, eager to make me turn back.

'YOU'RE A MONSTER!'

'EVIL!'

'WORTHLESS!'

'USELESS!'

'UNNEEDED!'

'SOULLESS BITCH!'

'HE DOESN'T WANT YOU!'

'HE WON'T HELP YOU!'

'HE'S LYING!'

I took another step, covering my ears, but it didn't help.

'STOP!'

I took another step, looking up at sans, his comforting smile was no longer there, and his face was twisted in fear as he reached out for me.

'STOP IT!!'

'GO BACK!!!'

'NOW!!!'

I staggered, trying to move foreword, I took one more step.

'HE!'

'DOESN'T!!'

'NEED YOU!!!'

I screamed and stumbled to the non existent surface we were standing on, crying out because of the pain in my chest.

"NO NO NO! ANSTELLA!! COME ON YOU'RE SO CLOSE! YOU CAN DO IT! JUST A LITTLE CLOSER!" Sans pleaded to me, I looked to him once more, only to find him on his knees, reaching as far as he could for me, tears streaming down his face.

His voice was drowned out by a high pitched ringing in my ears, I couldn't take it. I finally gathered my strength and dragged myself in the opposite direction of sans, the voices got quieter and I was able to get up and run, that's when I blacked out.

~sans~

Everything started crumbling as she ran away from me, and my sight faded to black. When I opened my eyes in reality, I was shocked to find Anstella engulfed in red electricity, what I wasn't expecting is what happened when she opened her eyes. All the bolts aimed for her soul, and the blast of energy sent her flying across the room, while I only fell to my back. The sound that came after was similar to thunder, and soon dwindled down to the soft flow of water, but there was another sound that was more alarming, the familiar whirr of electricity. I jolted up and looked around for Anstella, and once I spotted her, I wasted no time running over to her, stumbling along the way.

"Anstella! Anstella! Please, wake up please!!" I yelled to her.

As soon as I touched her, she breathed and cried out again, grabbing at the damp soil and dragging herself to an echo flower. Before I could gather my thoughts and speak to her again, she grabbed hold of the small flower and sent the bolts of lightening streaming down the stem and into the ground. I looked over and it had burnt 15 other flowers around us to a crisp. My eyes widened in surprise, the roots of the echo flowers spread out far and wide, and sometimes they intertwine with each other, therefore, one shocked flower sent other watts of electricity to connecting flowers, all within seconds. I looked back at Anstella, she had finally calmed down, but flinched every now and then from the after shock, her grip on the wilted echo flower was loose, but still holding on, she was breathing fine now. I noticed a red mark on her back, I gulped and feared for the worst, I slowly lifted up the back of her shirt, and it was what I expected, red lightening bolts branched out in every direction across her back. I ran my fingers slowly along the welts, she flinched after a few seconds and I lifted my hand up, then move her shirt back down to cover up the soon-to-be scars.

"Hey... Anstella? Kid? Can you hear me?" I asked weakly, shaking her shoulder, to which earned me a groan and a shift in position, I sighed in relief.

I gently picked her up, careful not to cause her any more pain or wake her up, and I began the walk back home.

'It will be a very long time before we could even think to try this again, there wasn't nearly enough trust, I should've known better... I just have to concentrate and make sure she's okay for right now.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't a very good idea in the first place, sans.
> 
> Sans isn't quite at the stage of crying over Anstella, but during that process, you're at your most emotional state. Why? Because I made it that way.


	12. More Than Offputting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor bag of bones.

The last thing I remember seeing before everything went black, was my hand gripping an innocent echo flower. The last thing I felt was a surge of energy before my vision left me all together. Now I'm fluttering my eyes open to a familiar dim room, the tv providing much of the light. It took a minute or so to clear my fuzzy vision, but once I tried to move, I was immediately stopped by a soreness all over my back, I let out a small groan.

"Hey... don't get up okay? You're gonna be sore for a bit..." I heard the low voice say. Then, as I recollected my thoughts, I realized who it belonged to.

"Sans?..." I asked, trying to see him without straining myself too much, he was sitting next to me on the little green couch, waiting for me to wake up.

"Yeah... I'm uh.. I'm sorry about what happened back there, I should've known better than to ask you to try that.." he trailed off, darting his eyes away from me.

"Try what?..." I asked slowly, giving him a suspicious glare, my terrible memory betraying any remembrance of what happened before I blacked out.

"Oh, you don't remember, do you? I asked you to let me help you, and we created that loop of magic and we were in that dark void? You couldn't speak? Remember?" He asked gently, though concern was still written on his face.

With some miracle, I did remember, almost down to the last detail, I some how remembered it all. My expression lightened with realization, and a small but noticeable smile creeped across my face, maybe my memory has changed, maybe I'll be able to remember more.

"Yeah... yeah I remember now!- ow.." I ended, getting a bit over excited for my still aching back.

"Careful, heh.. You hungry? Cause Pap almost got dinner ready." He offered, however, the thought of food made my stomach do summer-salts, he must've notice my face cringe and my hand move slightly over my stomach.

"I'll take that as a no then? That's alright, understandable too considering how electrifying earlier was, heheh... heh.."

'Okay that couldn't have been more terrible, what's up with you?!'

I let out a breathy chuckle at his attempt to lighten the situation... pun not intended... and set my eyes back on the tv, feeling the rest of the soreness crawl up my arms and down my legs, that must've been from the shear force of the backlash, oh well.

It probably wasn't even an hour before I konked out again while watching tv, and the dream that followed was way out of line with my usual dreams, it was something I've never seen before. There was gold everywhere, different shades even, shaped and designed to look like a regal corridor. Pillars towered above me and lined each side of the hallway, making me feel... smaller than I already was, but it was a peaceful quiet, so I walked on. Rays of slight filtered through, lighting up the tiled floors and revealing specks of dust gently floating through the air.

D us T e-ev Er Y W he-e-e-Re...

I stopped in the middle of the corridor and took a deep breath, taking it all in.

"You know what this needs?" I asked myself.

"A song." I said, chuckling at the random thought.

I searched through my mental playlist of songs and picked one out. But before I could start singing, I heard a muffled scream, it was faint, but I could hear it nonetheless. I stopped and looked every which way, trying to pinpoint where the distressed call was coming from. I heard it again, and suddenly the calm golden corridor was falling away from underneath me, leaving me to fall to the dark waters below it, drowning me back into reality. I whipped my eyes open only to hear another cry coming from upstairs. I looked over at Raksha, who was also alert of the worrisome noise, and she seemed to be starring directly at Sans's door. That can't be correct... could it?

I decided to investigate after all was silent, except for the occasional soft whimper coming from beyond his door. I stepped up to it, and interestingly enough, the orange fire coming from the bottom of his door had turned blue. I creaked it open a bit, taking a further peak inside.

Blue.

Blue everywhere.

Objects were floating, bits of flame scattered over the floors and walls, even a few bones had been thrown in any direction.

"What happened?..." I mouthed, careful not to make myself known.

I opened it a bit more and tiptoed inside, careful to miss the flames. I got a few steps into the chaotic room until I heard faint words of comfort coming from Papyrus, and heavy breathing coming from sans. I immediately tuned in on what was being said.

~Papyrus~

"SANS... SANS, CAN YOU HEAR ME, BROTHER? COME ON.. IM RIGHT HERE.. IT'S OKAY NOW, YOU'RE OKAY..." I asked in the quietest voice I could, trying to bring him back to me.

He gets like this often, waking up screaming, and then it's like he still hasn't woke up yet, or is sucked into some sort of trance. His eyes are open but it's as if his mind is still in whatever nightmare he's having. Some nights it's just heavy breathing, but there have been many nights where he gasps for air, letting out a choked sob after each breath. He'll yell my name, and it's not just a call for me, he cries it out as if I've turned up missing, and no matter how many times this has happened, and is going to happen, it never fails to absolutely shatter my soul at such a sound. I want to help him, I would do everything in my power to try and help him fix whatever troubles him at night, but he just won't tell me... it's frustrating, but I can't bring myself to push him. So all I can do is remind him that I'm still here, that everything is alright, and that he's okay. There's nothing more to do when he has these fits.

~Sans~

I knew right away what kind of night I was gonna have once I reappeared in that wretched hall. I braced myself, telling myself that I would not scream, I would not give this nightmare the satisfaction of my fear. I stood and glared down at the other end of the corridor, waiting for those red dots to appear and come bolting for me, wanting to attack... wanting me to fight back...

Laughing...

Soon enough, there they were. What I didn't expect was that they would disappear. I was left looking every where, straining my eye sockets to catch sight of those red dots, but they were nowhere. I searched and searched, my breath beginning to pick up as that tight and anxious feeling began to rise within me. 

"No... god..." I said, looking more frantically.

I heard the child's laughter, my soul tightening further with the suspense they were creating.

"Stop..."

I took a step back.

"What's wrong? Something new?" I heard them whisper behind me as they thrusted the ragged knife through my jacket, and through my soul.

It all felt so real... the pain, their voice... them... It was too real for comfort, and I lost control of myself, screaming out as much as I could, my need to wake up was overbearing.

I was aware I was sitting up, but all I could see was a rubbled and bleak version of the golden halls, only, the gold was a bland brownish color, and the light that sifted in was replaced with dark. I could hear Papyrus calling out to me, and oh, how I wanted to comply... to leave this hell and come back to reality, where he sat safely. But this twisted image would not leave my vision, and I'm stuck enduring it.

~Anstella~

"P-Pap? Where... Wh-where are you? Please... Any... Anyone... Please..." he croaked, his voice was small and hoarse, and it was even heart breaking to hear.

I looked around the corner, only to find sans with his knees up to his chest, hands over his head, tears streaking down his face, and trembling. His eye lights had turned into small pin pricks, and it seems he refused to move. The poor skeleton looked smaller than he already was, and a part of me screamed to go over and take his shaking form into my arms and hold him close, doing my all to calm him down and make him feel safe. That must have been the mother in me, as much as I hate to admit it.  
I complied a little to my frantic and caring thoughts, taking quiet and cautious steps toward the brothers and lightly tapping Papyrus on the shoulder.

"HUMAN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" He whispered.

"I... I heard him scream... I wanted to make sure he was alright..." I whispered back, the taller skeleton nodded, looking sadly at his older brother.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP HIM... HE NEVER TELLS ME ANYTHING, HE ALWAYS SAYS THAT HE EITHER FORGOT, OR THAT I SHOULD NOT WORRY... BUT I DO... I DO WORRY, GREATLY EVEN... I JUST WISH I KNEW WHAT WAS BOTHERING HIM..." Papyrus fesses up, a bit more interested in the floor now.

I felt bad for the skeletons, both seeming frightened in their own way. I looked back at sans, who seemed to have calmed down a great deal from when I first entered his room, and I decided. I was not about to stand by and let his trembling continue, he helped me, and now it's time to return the favor. I slowly sat myself next to him, his breath was still unstable. I laid a gentle hand over his own, no reaction. So I took to wrapping my arms around him and bringing my legs up as well. I had one hand on his left arm, and another softly pressing his head against my chest.

"If you can hear me, it's going to be okay. You're not alone right now, and we are right here with you." I began, speaking in a calm tone.

"Bright morning stars are rising."  
"Bright morning stars are rising."  
"Bright morning stars are rising."  
"Day is breaking"  
"In my soul."

~Sans~

I heard the echo of that sweet melodic voice sweep through the musty shambles of the ruined corridor, and I knew exactly who it was. Anstella was singing to me, and as much as I loved hearing her sing, the guilt in my soul that she had seen me like this was almost too much to bear, and I could feel the tears tugging at my eye sockets once more.

"Oh where are our dear fathers?"  
"Oh where are our dear fathers?"  
"They are in the valley praying."  
"Day is breaking"  
"In my soul."

Father... father, father... of all things I'm stuck remembering, I can't seem to recall ever having a father, but that can't be right, how else would we be here?

"Oh where are our dear mothers?"  
"Oh where are our dear mothers?"  
"They are gone to heaven a shout- shout- shouting shouting."

God her... her voice... it was so comforting and soft, I couldn't help but focus back on the little song that came from her, I got up and closed my eyes, walking towards the source of the music.

"Day is breaking"  
"In my soul."

"Bright morning stars are rising."  
"Bright morning stars are rising."  
"Bright morning stars are rising."  
"Day is breaking"  
"In my soul."

I opened my eyes, and I was back in my room. I felt exhausted, and the warmth coming from Anstella only influenced me more. I couldn't fight it, not right now, I leaned into her grasp and closed my eyes once more, slowly but surely relaxing and loosening up. I listened to her heart as it beat in a steady pace in her chest, and let out a breath.

~Anstella~

I felt his shuddering begin to slow to nothing, and once I finished my little tune, he opened his eyes, but only for a moment, then he shut them, surprisingly nuzzling into me and letting go a soft sigh. I smiled gently and looked over at Paps, who seemed happier now that his brother was finally calm.

"WILL YOU BE ALRIGHT?" The younger brother asked.

"We'll be just fine. You can go back to bed if you want." I offered, he thought for a moment before taking me up on it.

"OKAY... JUST... COME GET ME IF HE ACTS UP AGAIN." He said, I nodded as he stood up and decisively exited the bedroom.

'Goodness Sans... I thought I dreamt some crazy stuff... Poor thing...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He was rather disoriented after a nightmare like that.


End file.
